Spring Cleaning

I've done a little spring cleaning with my blog. I wanted something new and fresh. I used www.scrapblog.com to create my layout. I was impressed with their free services. I changed my blog title to Where's Baby? I wanted a title that reflected the content of my blog. I'm still living my happily ever after. I'm just wondering: where's baby?

Let me know if it's hard to read. I'm open to changing it for my readers.

Pre Conceive Plus

Cheers to my OPK being accurate! I've had some serious EWCM today.

It's wild what that smiley face did for me this morning. I've had the best day. DH and I planned a "meet me in bed at 4 PM" date. It was the first available time we could hop in the sack. Oh, and we tried Pre Conceive Plus. I picked it up at CVS this afternoon. Who knows if it really works but I thought, why not give it a try?

I didn't make it to the gym today. We ate dinner at Outback. WTF?

OPK = BFP

Finally! A BFP on my OPK! It made my day. I'm hopeful again.

I didn't make it to the gym this morning. But I did start my morning off with a Slim Fast shake. The Cappuccino Delight flavor is actually tasty! If you haven't tried it, you should. I'm having a Slim Fast bar for lunch. Hopefully I can manage a healthy dinner!

Love-Hate Relationship

I'm having a love-hate relationship with this break cycle. I love the relaxation: no meds, no appointments, etc. I hate the wait and knowing our plan of starting a family is on hold.

So!

I think I'm loving the break more than I'm hating it. The last few days I've been asking myself: should I take a longer break? I want to focus on being happy and getting in shape. I feel like the last two IUIs really brought me down. They were stressful and unsuccessful. I gained weight during those cycles. I've got fat in places I've never seen it before and I'm not even pregnant! I want to lose it. I want to start working out again. I've always said I wanted to be my skinniest before getting pregnant. Not the opposite, which is what I am right now.

Realistically I know that I can't put our plan of starting a family on hold for too long. I want to be a Mommy! But I think I can postpone our 3rd IUI until the month of my 25th birthday: June.

We'll see. I'll keep you updated. Things might change but for now, I've got plans to hit the gym before work tomorrow morning.

CD 16

I'm on CD 16. I've been using the Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Tests. So far I haven't seen a smiley face. I wonder if I will even ovulate this month. Break cycles suck.

blabla Dolls

So we're back to finding the perfect church again. We visited a baptist church in downtown Savannah this morning. We weren't impressed. After church we had lunch on River Street with Q and her DH. We stopped by the market to find these PRECIOUS dolls by blabla. I walked away without one. I'm not sure how I resisted. I will give in when our baby is in the making. Until then they would be a sweet shower gift, right?

www.blablakids.com

One of Those Days

It's one of those days. You know, when your heart just hurts all day? You do lots of wondering: why us? I know in my heart that He has a greater plan. I just need to keep trusting Him and be patient. It's just hard sometimes and so frustrating!

I've been okay with this break. Why am I surprised I'm not okay with it now? IF is nothing but a roller coaster of emotions. I was talking with a friend from college yesterday. She graduated with a degree in education too. She couldn't stop naming all of the girls from our class that had a newborn or were expecting. I wasn't shocked. They're just like DH and me: married and ready for a family. But then again I was shocked that we still aren't pregnant. Again, why us? This morning I ran into a friend that got married and started teaching the same summer I did. Someone commented about her cute little belly. Oh, right away I felt two emotions: pure happiness (for her) and pure sadness (for me).

I know you understand. Either you're in my shoes or you've been in my shoes. I'm just thankful for your stories. They help me get through days like today.

Happy Valentine's Day

Dinner for Two

DH and I enjoyed our day together. We slept in and relaxed all day. We haven't done that in forever so it was nice. We usually go out to dinner on Valentine's but not this year. DH decided to make dinner. We had lasagna. It was wonderful. He's so much better in the kitchen than me. I kiss better than I cook! Afterwards we talked about how many years we've been together. We can't believe it but we've been together since 2001. Isn't that crazy? We've practically grown up together. We wouldn't trade it for the world. We can't imagine living our lives without each other.

OMG! A CYST?

Q and I drove to Savannah for my u/s appointment this morning. Q's my friend struggling with IF. She seeing my RE in Charleston too. We laughed while walking in. We just knew we looked like the typical lesbian couple you'd see in a fertility clinic. I was the woman of the relationship: dressed all nice and girly (for work) and Q was the man of the relationship: dressed in jeans and sweat shirt (for relaxing because she didn't have to work).

So anyway, off to a room we go, giggling away! While Q's sitting right by my side all seems fine with the u/s UNTIL the probe goes over to my left ovary. And OMG! There was ginormous cyst. It looked like the size of my left ovary! My heart dropped. The RE said, "Have you noticed anything different about this period or anything?" I said, "No, not that I know of." She said, "Well this a very large cyst (3 cm). It is filled with fluid and see that small spot (can't remember what she called it). That's usually there around ovulation, not now." She called my RE in Charleston. Before she came back I knew what she was going to say: we had to take a break this month. Thank goodness Q was with me. I wasn't devastated but it was nice to share the shock with a friend that understands the ups and downs of IF.

We canceled my u/s appointment for Tuesday and left for brunch in downtown Savannah. My nurse in Charleston called me to say it isn't uncommon to have cysts after medicated cycles. She said not to worry about taking a break because it will be good my mind and body. She said we could try naturally with OPKs. I agreed with her. In a way I felt relieved. I thought, NO meds or appointments for a whole month. I bet that will be nice! She reminded me that patients have conceived during break cycles. I believe her but I'm not convinced it will happen to us.

Has this happened to anyone else? Is my cyst (3 cm) extremely large? Will it take more than one month to go away? My nurse said if it hasn't disappeared by next month they could aspirate it. Any other advice related to my concerns?

Thanks a million!

IUI # 3 - Here We Come!

AF is in town! She came 18 days after my IUI. She didn't ruin my day because I knew she was coming. I was happy to see her. We are one step closer to getting pregnant. AF signals a new cycle and a new chance of our dreams coming true.

I called my nurse to share the news. I could tell she felt bad. She has promised us from our initial consult that we would get pregnant quickly. She has always said "You are both young and healthy. You don't have anything holding you back (like blocked tubes, MFI, etc.). I promise it will happen soon!"

She talked with our RE and gave us our new, more aggressive plan: 75 IU of Follistim starting on day 3. She said we weren't doing the Letrazole/Femara anymore. Of course we're still doing the Novarel (trigger shot) and the Prometrium. She set up two u/s appointments for tomorrow (day 3) and Tuesday (day 8). Our RE is letting us go to another RE (in Savannah, GA) for the u/s appointments. Thank goodness they are in Savannah instead of Charleston. Savannah is about 20 minutes from our house. Charleston is about 2 hours. I was happy to hear that news! Instead of taking whole days off work, I'm only having to take half days.

I'll keep you updated on our follicle progress. I'm hoping and praying for more than follicle. I know it only takes one but our last two IUI cycles weren't successful. I only produced one follicle during those cycles.

Best wishes to you and your journey! I'm hoping and praying for you too.

Third Time's a Charm

I'm proud of myself because I didn't test Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. I didn't feel the need to see BFNs. So why did I test this morning? I just wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Well, I wasn't pregnant so I'm officially saying good bye to my progesterone suppositories.

I hope AF arrives soon. I'm looking forward to starting our third IUI cycle. I hope this time next month we can say "Third time's a charm!"

Tonight at dinner DH and I were talked about the what ifs: more IUIs, IVF, and adoption. We also talked about how time flies during fertility treatments. We can't believe we are getting ready to start our third IUI cycle. We feel like we just went in for our initial consultation. I'm glad we are still chugging along with hope. God is good!

11dpIUI = BFN

Story of my Life - Freakin' BFNs

I woke up at 3 AM feeling like a hot mess. I couldn't even open my left eye. It was sealed shut with, well, you don't want to know. I started working on sub plans because I couldn't go back to sleep. I called Subfinder at 5 AM and went to the doctor at 8 AM. I've got pink eye along with a really bad cold. I'm suppose to stay out of school tomorrow. I've already decided I'll be going in. If we have to do another IUI I'll be taking lots of days off. If my cycle prediction is correct: CD 3, CD 9, CD 12 will be during the school week.

So I wasn't going to test but I changed my mind. I wanted to tell my doctor if I was pregnant. I didn't want him to prescribe anything that I shouldn't take. Bad idea! It was once again, a freakin' BFN! I wonder if I will ever see a BFP in my life time. Haha!

I'm going out to lunch with a friend that doesn't teach. It's actually Q! My BFF that's struggling with IF. Afterwards I'm coming back here to sleep and watch Oprah and Ellen. I hope you are having a better day.

I know it's still early and I could still get a BFP but I'm not convinced. This is exactly what happened last time. I started getting BFNs at 11dpIUI. I'm really not testing again until Friday. I promise!

10dpIUI

DH and I spent our weekend in the mountains of NC. We were in a little town called Highlands. It's a beautiful place. DH's college roomie lives there so we were able to spend time with him. Unfortunately I started feeling yucky on our way there. I had a sore throat, stuffy nose and a headache. As the weekend passed, I felt worse. I didn't sleep much. On Sunday I awoke to a bloodshot eye, and I won't describe the rest. I was convinced that I had pink eye. Oh, the joys of teaching!

I'm starting to feel a little bit better and my eye isn't as bad. I have lost my voice though. Hopefully this isn't a sinus infection, and I don't have pink eye. Maybe this is just a horrible cold running it's course. If things aren't better by tomorrow afternoon, I'm heading to the doctor's office.

I've been worried about taking cold meds since I could possibly be pregnant. DH convinced me to take Tylenol Cold Multi Symptom a couple times. I've also used Afrin, Vick's Vapor Rub and Cold Eeze lozenges. I really hope those are okay to take. If not, please don't tell me because I will worry. Wait, maybe you should tell me so I can stop taking them.

I'm 10dpIUI. My bbs aren't really sore. This time last month they were super sore. I don't have too many twinges or cramps. Who know what's happening? I've been so consumed with feeling yucky that I haven't thought about going to buy any HPTs. I want to wait until Friday to test. We'll see!