Happy Halloween

I hope each of you are having a wonderful Halloween night. Mine has been uneventful but enjoyable. My husband and I have been handing out candy to precious little trick or treaters. We've also been working on projects. He's been installing our new storm door. I've been putting the finishing touches on my Golden Spoon Awards. I've just got to share them with you because they are a hoot. I started a lunch room committee at my school. Our goal is to make the lunch room a better place to eat and socialize. We've decided to give out Golden Spoon Awards to the classes that have the best manners. I have a creative side so I enjoyed making the creations!

Oh, and my cycle update: I'm on cycle day 30. I took a test this morning and it was negative. It wasn't a great way to start my day. I have a feeling I'm not pregnant. I guess I'll find out sooner than later.

Irish Blessing

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun

And find your shoulder to light on

To bring you luck, happiness and riches

Today, tomorrow and beyond.

Irish Blessing

Southeastern Fertility Clinic

First comes love, then comes marriage, now where is the baby in the baby carriage?

I got on facebook this morning and found out that a college friend is 7 weeks pregnant! I am so excited for her, but so sad for me. Why can't I get pregnant? What's wrong with me? I mean, I could almost be a Mommy right now if we had conceived those first couple of months. It's just hard to think about because we are beyond prepared. We are happily married. We have a home. We have good jobs. We are financially ready. We have supportive family and friends. So why can't we get pregnant?

We want answers. My husband and I decided to make an appointment with Southeastern Fertility Clinic. We have an appointment for an initial consultation on Saturday, November 22nd. Thankfully my insurance covers 70%, which leaves us to pay 30%. That makes it affordable for us right now. I can't wait!

Of course I hope the Clomid worked but we still don't know. I should know by the end of the week!

Pumpkin Spice

I'm not a huge coffee fan but I like an occasional cup. Those first months of trying I wouldn't drink any caffeinated drinks, but that changed. My days of non-caffeinated drinks are over until I get a positive pregnancy test. So anyway, I love the Fresh Market, just not their prices. But they have the best coffee, especially this flavor: Pumpkin Spice. It's perfect for the season. I just bought some last night. I'm enjoying my cup right now and so should you!

Precious!

How precious? Just a sweet picture I saw online and wanted to share with you.

Babies R Us had a grand opening today. The new store is located just minutes from my house. Since my husband and I were out and about shopping, I thought, why not check it out? My husband was a good sport. He browsed through the massive amounts of babies items with me. It's overwhelming but of course I fell in love with everything. I wanted to buy a few things but I didn't. I bought some things the first couple months we were trying because I was so excited about getting pregnant and having a baby. Sadly all those items are in our upstairs closet...untouched. Hopefully we'll be able to shop and register at Babies R Us soon.

Oh, and I'm on fall break. It's one of those teacher perks. Since my husband has to work next week, we do not have any fun plans. I am just going to relax! We are going to visit our parents next weekend. I am looking forward to seeing my parents. It's been awhile.

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend at home with your families and friends. Take care!

Two Week Wait

I'm on cycle day 19. If we've conceived, it's already happened. It's so exciting to think we could be pregnant but it's so upsetting to think we might not be pregnant. So now it's just a waiting game...

I went to see my friend and her baby in the hospital yesterday. He was precious and so tiny! I could have snuggled with him for hours. Just looking at him in my arms made me realize what a miracle! I want that miracle with my husband. Why can't my egg and his sperm be magical?

Another friend delivered a healthy baby girl today. It was a huge surprise because they waited until birth to find out the sex. She's another one of my friend's that got pregnant the first month of trying. I'm so happy for her but ahhh!

Happy Reading!

I have a lot of questions about infertility, especially now that we've been trying for a few months without success. I found a blogger that answered some of my questions. He's a fertility specialist in New York that posts a few blogs each month. He shares his patients' experiences and answer questions. Here's his blog: Happy Reading!

I'm on cycle day 17. On cycle days 14, 15 and a little today, I had short, sharp pains on both sides. I'm wondering if those were related to ovulation. I really have no idea when I will ovulate this month. I'm not using OPKs because I don't want to stress or worry during this cycle. I'm not getting the Day 21 test either. My OB/GYN said I didn't need it since I ovulated on 50 mg of Clomid last month. I am hoping and praying my new approach of less stress and worrying will help us conceive. Why not?

I just got a text my friend. She delivered a healthy baby boy tonight. She was lucky. She got pregnant the first month of trying. By the way, I teach first grade with this friend. She's going to be out on maternity leave until January. I'm so happy for her but I'm so envious.

HOPE

Last night I read a few blogs written by women struggling (or who have struggled) with infertility. I was inspired by their hope and strength. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. It's exciting to know that some of those bloggers are pregnant. I want to be one of those bloggers that can give HOPE.

I'm just a few days away from ovulation, well, hopefully! I'm on cycle day 12.

So far, so good!

This afternoon I finished my last of five little white pills (50mg of Clomid/cycle days 5-9). Thankfully I haven't had any side effects. I can't believe it! Last month my side effects were horrible (head aches, sore throat, chills, body aches and sleeping issues). They were so extreme that I didn't even want to finish taking the pills. I'm starting to wonder if all those "side effects" were actually symptoms of a virus. My doctor said she has never heard of sore throats and chills as side effects of Clomid. She thinks I coincidentally had virus. Since I've felt great the past five days (while taking Clomid) I'm pretty sure I had a virus last month.

My parents are visiting this weekend. We are going to try something new and exciting tomorrow morning. We are going kayaking! I'll have to post some pictures from our excursion. The intercoastal waterways are beautiful in the Lowcountry.

Update: We had to cancel our kayaking excursion. It's been pouring rain all day!

Infertility Awareness

National Inferility Awareness Week

October 19th - October 25th

http://www.resolve.org/

New Hope

I called my doctor's office this morning. Thankfully the nurse was able to schedule me in this afternoon. I wanted to talk with my doctor about my first cycle on Clomid (my side effects, my long cycle, etc.). I also wanted to know if I should continue. My doctor assured me that my side effects were normal. She also said it can be normal to have a longer cycle, esp. if ovulation occurred as late as it did. She recommended continuing Clomid at 50 mg...starting today! She said to count my first day of spotting as cycle day 1. So today would be cycle day 5! Even though I said we were not going to try Clomid again, we are. I went to fill my prescription after my appointment. Just a few moments ago I took my first of five little white pills.

So here goes our second month on Clomid! I'm not looking forward to the side effects but they will be 100% worth it if we become pregnant!

First Cycle on Clomid = BFN

I started a new cycle this morning. I was shocked but thought, ok, I can handle this. I kept telling myself that it wasn't meant to be. I sent text messages to close family members and a couple friends that knew we might have been pregnant. I knew I would start crying if I heard my husband's voice. So I just sent him a text message too. I really was ok until I got to work and saw my little first graders. They were so precious! My eyes teared up throughout the morning. A reading teacher barged into my classroom during my short break. I had been weeping. Why didn't she notice? Why didn't she just turn around and walk back out? Anyway, she came in to ask about our friend's baby nursery. She was going to buy a baby shower gift after school. I answered her questions. Then she said "Are you next?" I said "Nope!" She then said "Yeah, enjoy life without kids. Things change with them." I was trying so hard not to make eye contact. My eyes were filling with huge tears. Well that conversation, along with sweet text messages from family and a gift from the office (a close friend dropped off a thinking of you card with a framed picture), caused an emotional breakdown. I couldn't stop crying. I called the office to find a sub. I took a half day...

My precious husband surprised me at home. He left work as soon as I told him I was taking a half day. When I got home he greeted me at our door with a big hug. I just cried in his arms. I walked in to find roses, lunch, comfort food (chocolate cupcakes) and two movies. We just spent the afternoon together at home. Today ended up being an ok day. The love of my life completes me.

So where do we go from here? I just want to stop trying and forget about it all. I am still waiting to get the results from my blood test last Thursday. I know I'm not pregnant but what if I was pregnant and just lost it really early. AF has been horrible today.

By the way, my cycle was 36 days long. My cycle has never been that long! It's usually just 30 days. Isn't 36 days too long, especially on Clomid?

Waiting Wishfully

It makes me laugh to think about it. It's so my luck! On Friday afternoon I anxiously called my doctor's nurse to get the results of my blood work on Thursday. The nurse said "Well, we still haven't received the results from the lab." She then said "I'll give them a call. Do you mind waiting?" Of course I didn't mind. I wanted to know if I was going to be a Mommy! She finally came back and said "The machine that the lab uses is broken. Your results will probably be available on Monday. I'm sorry!" I said "Are you serious?" So my husband and I are waiting wishfully.

Although I haven't started a new cycle I've had a little spotting since Friday night. That kinda freaks me out because today I would be 5 weeks. I'm wondering if AF is on her way. Or is this normal during early pregnancy? Gosh, who knows!

Hope and Excitement

Thankfully my husband and I have gained hope and excitement! Why? Well, I still haven't started a new cycle. I took a home pregnancy test this morning and it was negative. But even though it was negative I called my OB/GYN. I told her I was late but still getting a BFN! She quickly said "Come on in for a blood test!" We're suppose to get the news tomorrow afternoon. We can't wait! I told one of my best friends that tomorrow could be the second best day of our lives. The first being our wedding day!

Relaxation

Don't you just love those weekends when you can relax? Thankfully we just had a weekend of relaxation. I'll be missing it this weekend. One of my college friends is getting married in November. Her bachlorette party is this weekend. I'm excited about celebrating with her. I'm not excited about making the 6 hour drive there and the 6 hour drive back. All within 48 hours...it makes me cringe!

Making coffee on Saturday AMSweet Jack
Roomie from CollegeSaturday night on River Street