Poem for Strength

“In my trouble I cried to the Lord, and He answered me.”

Psalm 120:1

I found this poem on an infertility blog today. I hadn't read it in awhile but I remember reading it during those months we longed for a baby, tried all we could and still didn't have success. I think it deserves a post on my blog. Hopefully my days of infertility are over but it will always be a part of me and I will never forget how it made me feel.

"There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother."

-Author Unknown

Going Green

Can you tell we love the color green? Whether it's a boy or girl we want to continue with the soft, light green colors in our nursery. Those colors make us feel relaxed so hopefully it will do the same for our baby. I'm more attracted to green baby gear and baby clothes as well. Maybe that will change when we find out the sex. By the way, the big date of our ultrasound has been set! It will be Monday, October 26th. I'll be 19 weeks during that ultrasound. We can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl. Any guesses? Maybe I'll put a poll on my blog! Most of you were right when you guessed twins on my last poll.

Am I feeling our baby?

Josh and I took some pictures after church today. I'm a couple days away from 15 weeks and we realized we hadn't taken my 14 weeks pictures. Anyway, our baby seems more real and real every day. A couple nights ago I was laying flat on my back. I was very still. I felt a little whirl. When I was laying down yesterday I felt a little flutter. I'm curious to know if it's our baby moving around. He or she is always so active during ultrasonds. But isn't it too early to feel anything?

14 Weeks

14 weeks from babycenter.com

14 weeks from thebump.com

Baby Books

Josh and I went to Savannah on Saturday night for dinner. We decided to stop at Barnes and Noble on our way home. Paula Deen and her two sons were there signing books. I guess it was a nice treat to see a few celebrities. I'm not a huge Paula fan but I do love southern cooking! Josh headed to the Starbucks section of Barnes and Noble and I headed to the pregnancy/baby section. I picked up a couple books that friends have recommended as MUST HAVES...real world friends and blog friends. So thank you! A couple friends said they wished they had read these books before bringing baby home instead of waiting a few months after birth. Josh listened as a I read the first chapter of Dr. Harvey Karp's book aloud on our way home. And it's interesting the 5 S's: swaddle, and um, I can't remember the rest. But anyway, it's supposed to give you "the happiest baby on the block!" Haha! We'll see one day, won't we?

If you have any other recommendations on good books, please send them my way. I enjoying reading about my future!

Oh, and one more thing, we had an appointment this afternoon. We were able to hear the heartbeat which was in the 160s. Our baby is doing very well. Our next appointment is in about 3 weeks!

13 Weeks

Pictures from 13 Weeks!

13 weeks from babycenter.com
13 weeks from thebump.com

Project Baby Cont.

These pictures were supposed to be on my last post titled Project Baby. I had trouble uploading these pictures so I just started a new post.

First Maternity Dress

Project Baby

Since I've had months to think about how I want to get ready for our baby I'm beyond ready to get started with everything. Two important things on my list: pull up our nasty carpet downstairs and replace with wood laminate flooring AND get a new sofa and chair with ottoman for our living room. Well after about a month of hard work those two wishes are complete! It feels great. Now I feel ready...haha! We've also been blessed with a crib which DH's mom purchased for us last weekend. Of course we put it together as soon as our ultrasound was over last Thursday. We were so excited. We've waited too long for all of this fun stuff. We're not waiting until I'm 8 months pregnant to get the ball rolling. I know all you IF bloggers understand. Haha!

Anyway, so here are some pictures of DH putting up the crib. I'm also including our bassinet which I blogged about after purchasing this summer. I made the bedding for it because I wanted it to match our bedding. So enjoy. Oh, and you can probably see the new floor in those bassinet pictures.

Ok, one more thing. I'm including a picture of me in my first maternity dress. I've been wearing it for awhile now.

Just getting started...

Time for the bumper!

Opening a PB mobile I purchased long ago

but we'll only use if it's a girl.

* The rest of the pictures are going to be posted on a new post!

12 Weeks

We're finally into the second trimester! I'll be 13 weeks on Tuesday. We've got less than 200 days to go. I feel so lucky and blessed. Yesterday morning I was taking a shower and decided to listen to some of my itunes songs under the genre "inspirational/christian." As the songs were playing tears just ran down my face. I remembered listening to those same songs when times were so hard and we were going through fertility treatment after fertility treatment with nothing but negative pregnancy tests. Those songs just brought back memories of times when we were so desperately praying to God and hoping for a miracle. Now we've got that miracle and I feel like we owe a huge thank you to God. He always gets you through the hardest of times.

I can't move the pictures around tonight and I'm not sure why. Anyway, here are my weekly pictures, just out of order.

12 weeks from thebump.com

12 weeks from babycenter.com

11 Weeks

I've been a BAD blogger lately. Life has just been too busy. Sorry for the lack of updates!

I am so happy to announce that I'm 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant. We've made it through the first trimester and we couldn't be happier. DH and I had an appointment this afternoon. We started with the scale. I've officially gained 4 pounds. Then we heard our baby's heartbeat and then saw him or her on the ultrasound screen. It was our first abdominal ultrasound. Our baby has grown so much! It's amazing and we love it. Our ob/gyn said our baby looks perfect. While I was looking at the ultrasound screen I thought "Wow, I'm really pregnant! This is real, amazing and I love it! That's OUR baby doing so well! Yay!" DH and I left our appointment with so much energy and excitement. We can't wait to meet our baby in March.

Our 11 weeks pictures are below. We haven't taken our 12 weeks pictures yet but as soon as we do I will post them. I'm feeling pretty good. I've had a yucky cold over the last couple weeks. I thought it was going away but I had to use the humidifier last night so that I could sleep peacefully. My only symptoms include: hunger and exhaustion. Oh and waking up to use the bathroom about 4 times each night...ugh!

Maternity pants...love them! :)

11 weeks from babycenter.com 11 weeks from thebump.com