Nevermind, I'm not ok!

I thought I was at peace with the whole "not pregnant after a second round of Clomid." Well, I wasn't. Today one of my teacher friends announced she was six weeks pregnant after her second month of trying. She was so excited and of course, I was so excited for her. We talked about the first appointment with her doctor, if she was going to come back to school next year, etc. Well, as soon as she walked away, it hit me. I thought I've been trying for a few months without luck, and then two months on Clomid without luck. What is wrong with me? I lost it. There are literally four or five pregnant teachers at my school. I am so happy for them but sad for me.

Thankfully a friend (a close friend that has been dealing with infertility) asked me to go shopping after work. It's was so nice to talk with her. She completely understands.

And other news, my hubby and I joined a gym tonight. We had the best time working out together. I forgot how much I love to work out. Today just seemed like the perfect day to join. I hope working out will help me deal with all of my frustrations.

Second Cycle on Clomid = BFN

My second cycle on Clomid (50 mg/cycle days 5-9) didn't work. Well, it may have made me ovulate again but it didn't result in a pregnancy. I started spotting on our way to VA, right after a conversation about baby names. I don't know why, but I'm completely ok with it. I guess deep down I expected that it wouldn't work. It's really weird how last month I was so devastated and this month I'm fine. Maybe I'm just looking forward to our initial consultation at the fertility clinic. I'm also busy with wedding festivities and catching up with college friends. I haven't really had time to think about it.

My OB/GYN wanted us to try Clomid for three cycles but we aren't going to do the third cycle this month. My husband will be out of town the week I'm suppose to ovulate. Then we have our initial consultation two days after he gets back. The clinic said we could not BD two days before his SA, so there's no point to trying Clomid if we can't BD around my ovulation.

I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day but a fun day. My roomie from college is tying the knot to her high school sweetheart!

Still Waiting

This has been more like a three week wait! I still haven't started. I haven't taken a test the past couple days but I am going to test tomorrow morning. I'm going to use one of my First Response tests. If it's positive, YAY! If it's negative, I will be convinced I'm not pregnant.

I really starting to wonder if I have miscalculated my cycle days. My doctor told me to consider my first day of spotting as CD 1. Of course I did that but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have considered those 3 days of light spotting as CDs 1, 2 and 3. I've got a couple friends that said their doctors told them to count the first day of red blood as CD 1. If that's the case, then I'm really not on CD 35, I'm on CD 32. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Update:

My husband and I are going to VA for a wedding this weekend. I'm a bridesmaid so we've got to do the rehearsal thing tomorrow night. I had to take tomorrow off because we are going to spend all day driving to VA. We'll be back Sunday. Hopefully I'll have news to share with you.

BARACK OBAMA

YES! HISTORY WAS JUST MADE!

I am beyond ecstatic!

Oh, so close!

I'm on cycle day 31. I was doing great this morning because I didn't feel the need to test. But I gave in and took one a few minutes ago. Of course, it was negative! I'm sure I'll be starting a new cycle soon. I wish I could be more optimistic but the last few month have taken all of the optimism out of me.

Updates:

CD 32 - another negative this morning, AF still isn't here, oh i wish i knew
CD33 - another negative this morning, AF still isn't here, i'm confused but hopeful

I bought two First Response tests to use over the next couple days. I've been using One Step tests, which are the Dollar Tree brand. I know I shouldn't be spending even more money on tests but what if I finally get a BFP! It will be worth the money. I know you understand!

Interesting web site on Home Pregnancy Tests: http://www.peeonastick.com/

Happy Halloween

I hope each of you are having a wonderful Halloween night. Mine has been uneventful but enjoyable. My husband and I have been handing out candy to precious little trick or treaters. We've also been working on projects. He's been installing our new storm door. I've been putting the finishing touches on my Golden Spoon Awards. I've just got to share them with you because they are a hoot. I started a lunch room committee at my school. Our goal is to make the lunch room a better place to eat and socialize. We've decided to give out Golden Spoon Awards to the classes that have the best manners. I have a creative side so I enjoyed making the creations!

Oh, and my cycle update: I'm on cycle day 30. I took a test this morning and it was negative. It wasn't a great way to start my day. I have a feeling I'm not pregnant. I guess I'll find out sooner than later.

Irish Blessing

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun

And find your shoulder to light on

To bring you luck, happiness and riches

Today, tomorrow and beyond.

Irish Blessing

Southeastern Fertility Clinic

First comes love, then comes marriage, now where is the baby in the baby carriage?

I got on facebook this morning and found out that a college friend is 7 weeks pregnant! I am so excited for her, but so sad for me. Why can't I get pregnant? What's wrong with me? I mean, I could almost be a Mommy right now if we had conceived those first couple of months. It's just hard to think about because we are beyond prepared. We are happily married. We have a home. We have good jobs. We are financially ready. We have supportive family and friends. So why can't we get pregnant?

We want answers. My husband and I decided to make an appointment with Southeastern Fertility Clinic. We have an appointment for an initial consultation on Saturday, November 22nd. Thankfully my insurance covers 70%, which leaves us to pay 30%. That makes it affordable for us right now. I can't wait!

Of course I hope the Clomid worked but we still don't know. I should know by the end of the week!

Pumpkin Spice

I'm not a huge coffee fan but I like an occasional cup. Those first months of trying I wouldn't drink any caffeinated drinks, but that changed. My days of non-caffeinated drinks are over until I get a positive pregnancy test. So anyway, I love the Fresh Market, just not their prices. But they have the best coffee, especially this flavor: Pumpkin Spice. It's perfect for the season. I just bought some last night. I'm enjoying my cup right now and so should you!

Precious!

How precious? Just a sweet picture I saw online and wanted to share with you.

Babies R Us had a grand opening today. The new store is located just minutes from my house. Since my husband and I were out and about shopping, I thought, why not check it out? My husband was a good sport. He browsed through the massive amounts of babies items with me. It's overwhelming but of course I fell in love with everything. I wanted to buy a few things but I didn't. I bought some things the first couple months we were trying because I was so excited about getting pregnant and having a baby. Sadly all those items are in our upstairs closet...untouched. Hopefully we'll be able to shop and register at Babies R Us soon.

Oh, and I'm on fall break. It's one of those teacher perks. Since my husband has to work next week, we do not have any fun plans. I am just going to relax! We are going to visit our parents next weekend. I am looking forward to seeing my parents. It's been awhile.

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend at home with your families and friends. Take care!