Rewind - It's been awhile.

Is it really December? I can't believe it!

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. DH and I spent most of the week with our families in the mountains of NC. We had a great time catching up and reminiscing about the past. I kept thinking about our next Thanksgiving and how our lives could be so different. We could have a baby with us. We told my parents about our plan for next month. We didn't tell anyone else (just you, and everyone else online, lol). I'm not really sure why we aren't telling anyone else. Actually I think I'm worried that people will not understand. They will just say what DH's mother always says, it will happen when you stop worrying about it, so just relax! I'm sure those same fertile myrtles will also say, you're young, why spend the money, etc. Although my mother in law's advice frustrates me, her generosity makes me smile. During our visit she showed me what would have been our baby's Christmas present: bedding for a crib. This past spring I was browsing through baby bedding at the Pottery Barn outlet. I fell in love with a simple pattern. It was mostly white, with a few light green stripes. Well, she purchased the entire set this summer and was planning on giving it to us this Christmas. But we still aren't pregnant so I guess she will just keep it until we get pregnant. I am really excited about the bedding. I can't wait to decorate a nursery...one day! By the way, I'm in love with Rebekah's nursery: click here to see! And before I forget, special congrats to Praying for a Little One. I was so happy to read about her Thanksgiving blessing.

Here's a picture of my sister and me! I love her to pieces. We always thought we wanted to get pregnant together but she started law school this August, so she will be waiting a few more years.

And the other pictures are of my sister, my Mom, my Nana and my sweet hubby!

Ok, and on to Christmas decorating. We finally finished. I've documented the process and the outcome below.

Oh, and a cycle update. I'm on CD 27. I am waiting to start so I can set up my HSG and IUI. I've already preauthorized the procedures with my insurance company. I feel completely blessed because my insurance covers 70% of anything related to infertility. Of course, let's hope I'm pregnant so I don't have to go through any of those scary procedures. Best wishes to you and your journey!

Our Plan: HSG and IUI

Wow! I still can't believe we've been to a fertility center. It was a great experience! We feel so much better about this roller coaster we've been on the last few months. Our doctor and his staff really impressed us. We received good news: sperm, uterus, ovaries and eggs are all in perfect condition. The doctor believes we are going to be placed in the Unexplained Infertility category. So here's our plan: have an HSG and do a Letrozole/FSH (300 IU) IUI cycle with 2 ultrasounds, HCG, LH and Prometrium. And, if all gets accepted by our insurance, we'll get started next month! We are really excited. I'm trying not to think about the actual procedures because they totally freak me out, esp. the HSG. I think I'll be ok with the needles though.

Please share any comments on our plan. I'm open to hearing about what we should expect!

Interesting tidbits we learned:

One out of six couples struggle with infertility.

A healthy couple has a 25% chance of conceiving (each month) during the first six months of trying. After that sixth month, the chance of conceiving moves to 5%. Why? I guess because something just isn't right.

Happy Holidays

I hope our prayers are answered this Christmas!

Sunday Night

I'm so excited about our initial consultation on Saturday. I can't believe it's less than a week away. I'm so nervous too. I wonder what our plan will be, what the u/s and SA will reveal, how much treatments will cost, etc. Hopefully I will be just as excited when I leave the appointment, but probably not! I'll probably be overwhelmed.

I'm on cycle day 10. Gosh, it's going to be a looooooooooonnng cycle!

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before

which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish."

-John Quincy Adams

I want a miracle!

Do you remember my friend from school that just had her baby? Here's a picture of her baby and me in the hospital. I was wishing I was the lucky one that had just given birth to this miracle.

Here are a few pictures from our wedding weekend in VA.

Cousins of the Bride and ME

I loved my flowers!

I love wedding cakes!

Nevermind, I'm not ok!

I thought I was at peace with the whole "not pregnant after a second round of Clomid." Well, I wasn't. Today one of my teacher friends announced she was six weeks pregnant after her second month of trying. She was so excited and of course, I was so excited for her. We talked about the first appointment with her doctor, if she was going to come back to school next year, etc. Well, as soon as she walked away, it hit me. I thought I've been trying for a few months without luck, and then two months on Clomid without luck. What is wrong with me? I lost it. There are literally four or five pregnant teachers at my school. I am so happy for them but sad for me.

Thankfully a friend (a close friend that has been dealing with infertility) asked me to go shopping after work. It's was so nice to talk with her. She completely understands.

And other news, my hubby and I joined a gym tonight. We had the best time working out together. I forgot how much I love to work out. Today just seemed like the perfect day to join. I hope working out will help me deal with all of my frustrations.

Second Cycle on Clomid = BFN

My second cycle on Clomid (50 mg/cycle days 5-9) didn't work. Well, it may have made me ovulate again but it didn't result in a pregnancy. I started spotting on our way to VA, right after a conversation about baby names. I don't know why, but I'm completely ok with it. I guess deep down I expected that it wouldn't work. It's really weird how last month I was so devastated and this month I'm fine. Maybe I'm just looking forward to our initial consultation at the fertility clinic. I'm also busy with wedding festivities and catching up with college friends. I haven't really had time to think about it.

My OB/GYN wanted us to try Clomid for three cycles but we aren't going to do the third cycle this month. My husband will be out of town the week I'm suppose to ovulate. Then we have our initial consultation two days after he gets back. The clinic said we could not BD two days before his SA, so there's no point to trying Clomid if we can't BD around my ovulation.

I need to go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day but a fun day. My roomie from college is tying the knot to her high school sweetheart!

Still Waiting

This has been more like a three week wait! I still haven't started. I haven't taken a test the past couple days but I am going to test tomorrow morning. I'm going to use one of my First Response tests. If it's positive, YAY! If it's negative, I will be convinced I'm not pregnant.

I really starting to wonder if I have miscalculated my cycle days. My doctor told me to consider my first day of spotting as CD 1. Of course I did that but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have considered those 3 days of light spotting as CDs 1, 2 and 3. I've got a couple friends that said their doctors told them to count the first day of red blood as CD 1. If that's the case, then I'm really not on CD 35, I'm on CD 32. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Update:

My husband and I are going to VA for a wedding this weekend. I'm a bridesmaid so we've got to do the rehearsal thing tomorrow night. I had to take tomorrow off because we are going to spend all day driving to VA. We'll be back Sunday. Hopefully I'll have news to share with you.

BARACK OBAMA

YES! HISTORY WAS JUST MADE!

I am beyond ecstatic!

Oh, so close!

I'm on cycle day 31. I was doing great this morning because I didn't feel the need to test. But I gave in and took one a few minutes ago. Of course, it was negative! I'm sure I'll be starting a new cycle soon. I wish I could be more optimistic but the last few month have taken all of the optimism out of me.

Updates:

CD 32 - another negative this morning, AF still isn't here, oh i wish i knew
CD33 - another negative this morning, AF still isn't here, i'm confused but hopeful

I bought two First Response tests to use over the next couple days. I've been using One Step tests, which are the Dollar Tree brand. I know I shouldn't be spending even more money on tests but what if I finally get a BFP! It will be worth the money. I know you understand!

Interesting web site on Home Pregnancy Tests: http://www.peeonastick.com/